A GOLDEN BLESSING
by Wendy Weishaar
Blessings come in all different shapes and sizes. Some come after lots of hard work and hopeful planning and others enter our lives in completely unexpected ways.
In April of 2005, a golden blessing came into the life of my husband and I, and that of our son, Parker. This blessing came in the form of a North Star Assistance Dog named Candy. She is a lovely golden retriever, as sweet as her name would suggest, and as my 11-year-old son Parker would say, she has “cornered the market on the cuteness factor.”
Parker has Aspergers Syndrome, a high functioning form of autism that we have come to accept it as a gift. Parker has allowed us to appreciate different points of view, to develop our capacity for patience and celebrate diversity in people. When we started down the path of seeking a placement of an assistance dog to help Parker achieve his social, emotional and educational goals, we had no idea where this journey would take us. We knew upon sight that Candy was lovely and gentle and that we, along with Parker, were instantly smitten. Beyond the obvious connection she provides for Parker, what does Candy do for him?
Parker doesn’t need her to open doors for him in the literal sense, but she has opened many figurative doors for him socially. Often children with Aspergers Syndrome have great difficulty navigating the social world. Reading body language and social cues is extremely difficult, and when you have difficulties in these areas you tend to be a target for bullying, or at the very least are excluded from the social swirl that tends to envelop the rest of us.
What better way to do this than to have a lovely and well-behaved dog break down those barriers of awkwardness in social settings? Candy is used as a social tool for Parker, a kid magnet and moving focal point of attention. Parker gets to talk about her to anyone who approaches the two of them in public (North Star vests read “Please Ask to Pet Me,” which is a giant leap forward from Parker’s more typical scenario of being ignored, whispered about, or teased.)
Candy disarms prejudice and fear, providing a level ground for Parker to relate to others; in this way you can see Candy as helping others to overcome these disabling attitudes. The confidence that Candy gives Parker to handle social situations is immeasurable, and he is a totally different kid since we received Candy several years ago. The anxiety level is way down for him and that translates into a happier household for all of us.
Candy and Parker also participate in the sport of Dog Agility. They practice on the obstacles with a trainer as well as in a group class, and they compete together at dog trials in the winter months. This activity is quite therapeutic for Parker, for it combines pragmatic (social) speech, coordination, sequencing and motor planning in one happy activity; all skills that can be hard for children with Aspergers to develop. Parker still receives traditional Speech & Occupational Therapy with licensed therapists, but the agility work has been a great supplement to that and helps to deepen these developing skills in a fun and social way.
The biggest part of Candy’s blessing that she has taken the attention off the Asperger’s label with its painful limitations, instead switching our focus onto Candy and the positive things she is able to bring out in our son: the bond she shares with Parker is priceless, her unconditional love always welcome, and her ability to break down social barriers extraordinary.
We appreciate our lives more because of Candy. She is one of life’s sweet and unexpected blessings, just like Parker himself…
by Wendy Weishaar
